All The Things I Hate About My Novel

Okay, so let’s talk about the inconsistency of inspiration.

I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year. I failed at it in 2007, but this is my revenge. We’re halfway into November right now, and I’m halfway towards the coveted 50k words that will mark my victory against the little voice in my head that keeps chanting “You can’t do this so why even bother”. I have a story that has been growing inside my cluttered head for years, and it is now happy as a puppy to be finally let out of there. The problem is that I am beginning to hate it.

I don’t hate the concept or the plot, mind you. I’m really happy with and proud of those. No, my problem is that writing it is beginning to feel forced. I find myself constantly checking my word count just to have an excuse not to write for the next half a minute or so. I find myself rushing through scenes just because I can’t stand to be in them anymore. And I find myself thinking that even thought I will probably reach the finish line well in time for 11/30, the end result will be a text so uninteresting and worthless that not even my  mom will want to read it. I would not want to read it, for heaven’s sake.

Here’s a inexhaustive list of things I hate about my novel:

  1. The characters are flat and shallow and totally uninteresting
  2. However cool the setting is, I am unable to do it justice through my descriptions
  3. I can’t seem to approach the meta plot in a way that’ll make anyone want to read it
  4. The relationships between characters are cheesy
  5. My writing is cheesy
  6. I’m cheesy
  7. I forgot to put yesterday’s leftovers into the freezer and had to throw them away this morning.
  8. I’m out of bread.
  9. My apartment is a mess and I blame it on Writober and WriMo.
  10. Cheese

Yesterday was a completely different story, however. I was sitting at a brass clad table in a coffee house in Sthlm, feeling like a romantic Nora Roberts character as I wrote the winged words of a future bestseller. I knew exactly what I was doing and my ego was untouchable.

I really hope that this feeling of worthlessness and creative fatigue will have packed its bags and left by the time I awake tomorrow morning, because I don’t have room for it in my apartment or in my life. I have so many things going right now that I can’t afford to be humanly insecure about my writing for more than a day. Not only do I have the golden 1666 words to write every day, but I also have deadlines and essays and work to do.

I also hope that it’s not just me growing tired of November from a WriMo point of view. I hope that this is a natural state in the writing process. I hope that my novel is not as boring and flat as I think it is, and I hope that you can forgive me for having such relatively shallow problems in a world where terrible things happen every day to ordinary people with dreams and hopes just like you and me.

Do you have any tips on how to tackle the feeling of being a worthless writer working in vain on a worthless text? Or do you just agree and want to whine together with me? Feel free to drop a comment or a tweet!


And finally: I’d like to give a shoutout for this beautiful blog post by James Radcliffe. It is about the beauty in broken things and it really made my day. I recommend reading it.

Now I’ll be off back to the Self-esteem Lowlands. Have a nice evening!
Over and out!

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Published by

voeko

Chris is a freelance writer struggling with the novel that will make them an author.

5 thoughts on “All The Things I Hate About My Novel”

  1. Ok. Deep breath time. You can do this and I don’t say it to be patronising or to falsely boost your spirits but just to point out that you can. I’ve come to realise that what you’re feeling right now is incredibly common. I have now been there twice.

    You can get past it. Imagine you’re telling someone new about your story. Talk to them about the characters and their journey. Remember where they’re going and what they’re fighting for and you’ll remember why you love them and what you’re fighting for.

    You are half way through. That’s amazing. Now go and bloody finish it!!

    Like

    1. Thank you for boosting my confidence! Your words are really helpful, I’ll try using that method. And everything feels much better today. I really appreciate your comment 🙂

      Like

  2. As prclarke88 said. You can tell me about the characters, we will dedicate some hours for it at a cafe tomorrow or whenever you can. And I am sure the characters will flesh out when you go through them.

    I dont know much about writing. But it sounds that its good that you are productive even if the details of scenes and characters aren’t perfect. You can go back and change them in time, like after November is over, after the framework is done.

    What is the thing you do have inspiration for now? Can it be the overall plot? Keep doing that and you will come around for the other. You will soon remember why you are untouchable.

    Liked by 1 person

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